Saturday, February 20, 2010

saying yes.

When I should have said no.

I acted rashly yesterday.  The RN I work with was put on call so my intern shift was canceled.  I decided to call a family that called earlier in the day to let them know I could work for them.  Left a message.

Then, the RN I work with said that she works Saturday night, tonight, and I could join her for this shift----It totally throws my entire weekend off....And, I just don't like that. (foot stomping.)

The family called me back this morning, ready for me to work for them.  So, I ended up saying yes to working for a few hours in a little bit, and I don't want to.  I want to relax and study leisurely and not stress about doing it all.

These lessons of saying yes when I mean no, so that I can have enough---it boils down to lacking trust in my Higher Power, I think.  I didn't pause yesterday when my schedule was getting all thrown out of whack.  I didn't pray for guidance about what I should next do.  I just did.  And, now, I'm feeling resentful and crummy because I really don't want to work with this little one.  I want to watch Psych lectures and get on top of my studying.

My goal for the next few hours:  suck it up and present my best self for this little guy.  It's my first time working with him.  He's 21 months old.  He's cute with the biggest blue eyes, and this is a new family.  How grateful can I be??? Pretty grateful!  I get to work and have fun for the next few hours.  I get to show up with enthusiasm and enjoyment.  Even if I don't have a smile on my face right now, it'll get there.

Oh the lessons I learn on a daily basis.  They seem to make heart block so trivial.

Off to work.
hi ho, hi ho.

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