Tuesday, February 02, 2010

Oh, Sufjan.

These lyrics from Jacksonville by Sufjan Stevens are written in red across my mirror:

I'm not afraid to get it right
I turn around and give it one more try

I am overwhelmed but in a super peaceful way, which again, knocks me off my feet and makes me wonder if I'm really even overwhelmed.

I declined attendance to a Pediatric Symposium I had on my schedule tomorrow and I feel a *little* frustrated by that---at the same time, I think it's more important I take that time to study.  (My first theory exam is Thursday--it covers Fluid & Electrolyte Imbalances, Acid Base Imbalances, Care of the Critically Injured Client suffering from Burns & Shock.)  This semester is VERY heavy on us teaching ourselves the material.  Which leaves little time to study:  the time I would be studying is the time I'm taking to listen to lectures and take notes.  I feel behind.

I was listening to some calm Sufjan a few days ago when his lyrics came right out of the speaker and spoke to me so wonderfully.

I am a little afraid to not get it right, but the more I talk about it and the more I praypraypray for the amazing guidance to show up and participate in this busy life, the more I'm really turning it around and giving it one more try.

My week is busy.  Tuesdays are my busiest day, and I'm about to head out the door for playgroup.  Then six hours of class ahead.  I'm hoping to get some cardio in (I got my iPod yesterday---it's lovely, delicate, purple and amazing. I'm very excited!)  If I don't make it to the gym, after my psych class tonight I'm going to walk around our lovely downtown square for some fresh air and perspective.  Tomorrow since I've declined attendance to the symposium I'm off all day, which is a blessing: STUDY TIME!!  And, I'm working 7p to 7a tomorrow night, as well, so hopefully I'll get some good rest in, too.  Thursday is exam day after hopefully sleeping well and doing a final review.  Then I work again 11p to 7a.  PHEW. Exhausting, right?  I can do it. I can do it.  I am housesitting again this weekend, a blessing financially--very easy work!, but disorienting a little  when I'm not in my own space.  I'm going to focus on the blessing of it.  And, this weekend I'm working a lot with the little kiddos.

With all the busy, I feel peaceful.  I'm grateful I realized this past weekend that I neeeeeed activity in my life, and yesterday I was active twice, which felt amazing.  (I also treated myself to a really terrific massage.)  I'm hoping to just breathe today, be in the moment and focus on what's in front of me.  And, I can only do that with God's help.

I hope wherever you are you're off to have a great day, too....

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