and the sun came out, and i wept.

We've been five days in cloud and fog and rain. The sun greeted me this morning. It was a joyous, warm, exciting feeling.

Empty the Glass of your Desire

by Rumi. 

Join yourself to friends
and know the joy of the soul.
Enter the neighborhood of ruin
with those who drink to the dregs.

Empty the glass of your desire
so that you won't be disgraced.
Stop looking for something out there
and begin seeing within.

Open your arms if you want an embrace.
Break the earthen idols and release the radiance.
Why get involved with a hag like this world?
You know what it will cost.

And three pitiful meals a day
is all that weapons and violence can earn.
At night when the Beloved comes
will you be nodding on opium?

If you close your mouth to food,
you can know a sweeter taste.
Our Host is no tyrant. We gather in a circle.
Sit down with us beyond the wheel of time.

Here is the deal: give one life
and receive a hundred.
Stop growling like dogs,
and know the shepherd's care.

You keep complaining about others
and all they owe you?
Well, forget about them;
just be in His presence.

When the earth is this wide,
why are you asleep in a prison?
Think of nothing but the source of thought.
Feed the soul; let the body fast.

Avoid knotted ideas;
untie yourself to a higher world.
Limit your talk
for the sake of timeless communion.

Abandon life and the world,
and find the life of the world.




Nate emailed me this Rumi yesterday.  It feels ridiculously appropriate and wildly lovely to be given the gift of poetry from my Sweet, words so influential to where I am right now.  I especially appreciate the lines, "Stop growling like dogs, and know the Shepherd's care."  


Today, we're in our second day of socked-in cloud, fog & rain.  It's very cold and new snow is on the mountain views.  We're headed to Interlaken to hopefully escape the weather, and give the kiddos something fun to do at Mystery Park--a wild and fun all-ages kiddo play area!  I am grateful for the moment, gifted with awareness to be Present, Willing and Awake.  


I will 'Stop looking for something out there and begin looking within.'
Hope you all are well. 


(Thank you, Nate, for the Rumi insight.)

webs.

There is something pretty amazing about the spider webs here in Switzerland.
Especially when they're covered in cloud and dew on a foggy day.

Glory Night.

This is the view from my porch tonight. The Eiger at Sunset.
I am blessed.

I'm tired and yet not sleepy, the irony of jetlag.
I hear the family upstairs awake and feel bad sweet Owen and sweet Sidney are not going down for the night.
There is something very, very honest about children adjusting to travel and jetlag.
Adults, we're forced to handle it and be tough about it--do the things the day demands of us.
But, kids? They want to sleep and they need to sleep, so they do.
Except at night.

It's chilly here.
The highs are in the low-60s and the lows are in the mid-40s. My feet are cold.
(It's also 2230 and it IS cold...of course I'd be chilly! :)

I checked the Arizona Board of Nursing website today and noticed my application for license has been received but my citizenship documation hasn't. Which doesn't make sense, as I sent my birth certificate with my application. I feel a little powerless--that I can't do anything about it RIGHT NOW so that feels yucky.

But, I did send an email and hopefully it is fixable, and I'll still be able to be an RN.

Also, there is a British Inn Keeper here in Murren named Denise that asked Troy to let me know if I'd be interested in any extra work she'd hire me for about three hours a week to do some cleaning! How great would that be?? I'm hoping to chat with her tomorrow about her needs and want to make sure it works with the family and all involved but the pay is awesome and it would be a huge relief (*sigh!*) to actually come home with more money than I would if this weren't an opportunity! We'll see what happens!!

The food is great. JJ does an awesome job in the kitchen and we eat phenomenally. Tonight we had a vegetable saute (onion, garlic, eggplant, potato, zucchini, chickpeas & [normal]peas) with this Tandoori Curry sauce mixed with a bit of coconut milk. All served atop brown rice. YUM. A chocolate square (or two) for dessert with some Chamomile with Lavendar tea. So wonderful.

I'm about to do some cruches, actually.
:)

I hope you all are doing well, and enjoying the Summer as it unfolds.
I am so blessed, and hope Blessings surround you as well, too.


Oh, here's today's Reminder from God:

"Soon you will truly be able to do all things through Me and My Strength."

What an awesome reminder as I'm sitting here possibly very near stressing out about my license application and knowing the amazing mountains are right outside. God will provide. I can do all things through God and with God's strength.

Blessed.

the Mad Hatter fed me cheesecake.

Oh yesterday! What a terrific day!!

I started my psych clinical rotations at a women's treatment/rehabilitation facility and it rocked my world.  I have such reverence for recovery and to be on the other side of women in recovery---ohmygoodness! It is such an honor!  I feel grateful and excited about the 36 hours I get to have with the women at this house.  I also know I will be ridiculously challenged with what I'm learning and the candid opening these women are asked to exhibit.  It is yet another example of something I get to do during nursing school that completely changes me--I am so lucky to have this educational experience.  So lucky.  

Last night I worked with sweet Juliana and Dante.  They were tired....There were some tears and a little 4-year-old body not wanting to listen to my direction.  Comes with the territory.  Juliana and I have this little bond where we sing a lot, just sing the things we're saying to each other, and it cracks me up.  She is a special girl, and I enjoy working for this family.  (We also were talking in 'robot' but then I started thinking in 'robot' so I had to ask her to please stop.  "Why. Do. We. Have. To. Stop. Talk-Ing. In. Ro-Bot?")  Mom of these kids is so considerate.  She prepares dinner for the kiddos before I get there, she's a phenomenal cook, and always makes sure it's vegan.  So thoughtful.  

I worked until about 2015, and was chatting with Mom about life changes, Nate, Nate, Nate, and having a giggle...She walked me to the door, and we opened it to three inches of snow!  It was so still!  Pouring snow---So much snow was coming out of the sky, and holy cow! It was so silent and beautiful.  I have a little Honda Civic in need of new tires, and I was nervous driving home.  Mom was so sweet---do you want to take my car? Do you want to stay the night??  No, No. I'll head home.  I can make it.  

I pushed all the snow off my car and climbed in.  The house I was working in is north of town, without street lights, and I will say:  My drive home was the scariest drive I've ever done!  Ohmygoodness!!  I couldn't see but three feet in front of me, the snow was coming down so hard, I could only stay in first gear, and I swear, I don't know how I got anywhere; my speedometer did not go over zero.  I was crouched over my steering wheel, praying over and over again.  "God, be my eyes. God, keep me safe.  God, I praise you for this experience and ask for you guidance and strength.  Oh God, I can't see. Oh, God, Please help. Keep me safe.  You're in charge, God; I trust you."  It was intense, and lovely.  

Each time I couldn't see a car would crest over the hill ahead and its lights would shine my way.  

When the street lights started, another car was ahead of me and I am so grateful; I was able to drive in its wake.  I ran two stop signs, knowing with the hills in my darling town I wouldn't be able to get going if I were to stop.  

My home is on a hill, and I knew I'd need the momentum of the incline to keep accelerating toward my garage.  Wouldn't you know it?  There was a pedestrian, strolling along in this blizzard snow.  He was covered in snow! And he was STROLLING!  This dark mass slowly walking on my sidewalk, in front of my home!  REALLY????  The craziest weather, I'm not sure I can get traction enough to keep driving, and I have to pause for a pedestrian.  I totally was laughing.  God is so funny.  And, an amazing protector.  

I made it to my garage.  And, when I climbed out laughed again;  my car was covered in four inches of snow. I shrugged.  Oh well.  It'll just melt off into the garage.  That's what snow's supposed to do, right??

Such an adventure!

I woke this morning at 0615, to realize I didn't need to get up so early, and fell back asleep.  I dreamed Ryan Gosling was the mad hatter, I was blonde, with Shirley Temple ringlets and a red headband, and he was feeding me cheesecake.  I don't like cheesecake. (chocolate > any other dessert, ever.  It's a proven mathematic equation.)  I remember thinking, "I have to pretend to like this so the Mad Hatter doesn't get Mad."  Awwww, Sweet Layla as Alice, people pleasing even in her dreams.  

I was supposed to meet my Grandpa today for breakfast but due to the weather we decided to cancel.  I'm a little bummed; I haven't seen my Granddad for years.  Gosh, since Nov 2006?? Whoa.  I told him about my upcoming graduation, though, and he 'has it on the calendar' so hopefully I'll get a Grandpa Love on May 15.  

School's on a two-hour delay.  My class tonight doesn't start until 1700 so I don't think this will affect me.  I have some appointments on campus at 1400 and the sky is blue, blue, blue--gorgeous Prescott, Arizona blue.  The roads haven't been plowed yet, and I'm not going to head out in the weather until later this afternoon.  I've started the laundry and my latte is delicious.  Soon, I'm going to have a shower, and watch some lectures online until my afternoon begins.  

Life is so good.  I am so safe.  I feel love in my tummy, in my heart, in my toes.  

This is my life. 

And, I adore it.  

35 inches of mermaid hair.

I slept so hard and dreamed of all kinds of crazy things.  I wanted to be on campus by 0800 to complete the EKG Rhythm Review project we have to complete by Thursday but my bed was so comfy and my sleep so delicious I decided to move that time to 0900.  

I made it, tho'!  And completed the EKG review.  I'm all up to speed on Premature Ventricular Complexes and Premature Junctional Complexes and Atrial Flutter and Idioventricular Rhythms and God Forbid Ventricular Fibrillation.  I hope I do well on Thursday's exam...There is a lot of studying still in need of doing.  

I took a break between Rhythm Interpreting to hit up a fantastic meeting and go for a run.  I realized a couple things while running: 

1.  Why the heck wasn't I outside running today?  Dear Goodness, it was a gorgeous day! Next time I run in the afternoon, I'm going to do the track---Gosh...it was the kind of almost spring day where the buds on the branches seem to be calling to me in a fashion that scream It's Spring, And We're Here, and Aren't We Darling??? It was a lay in the grass and let the sun seep into my bones kind of afternoon.  

2.  The Olympics is Awesome to Run to.  The center TV at the Y had the Snowboard something or other on and it was inspiring!!

3.  I ran for 29 out of 45 minutes.  This is the most I've ever run in a continuous period.  Serious high fiving going on. Seriously.  AND, at a speed of 5.5mph.  Which....is the FASTEST I've ever run for a continuous amount of time.  I know.  I'm awesome. 

4.  When Dashboard by Modest Mouse and I Feel It All by Feist come on to the iPod and I'm running I find it very very very very hard to not yelp with excitement and sing along.  No matter what old man is walking next to me. This is true for Don't Stop Believin' by Journey and I Gotta Feeling by Black Eyed Peas.  I really just can't help it.  I try. Actually, I don't. Whatever.  It's my run.  I can be that annoying girl singing the wrong words out loud to the song.  It helps me get the run done!  

I was feeling so fit and thin, especially after a very exciting scale number last week that I decided to do my measurements.  I've lost 2.5" since the last time I measured, which was end of December.  Especially I was excited about my waist measurement: 

I think the last time my waist was a lovely 35" I was in my early twenties and didn't care about things like a waist measurement number.  Good ol' Dr. Oz says women's waists need to be between 32.5 and 35 inches to have optimal heart health, and I am there!  I am so thrilled with this measurement!!!  It is just very very exciting.  Only two and half more inches to go before I can be confident with my heart health....... :) What a goal!  :)

While I had the camera out, and my clothes on, I also documented another great accomplishment: 

Almost There Mermaid Hair!

I have mermaid hair with, ahem, a bra on.  I know...How audacious of me to say!  But, gravity and the weight of these puppies doesn't exactly allow my hair to fully cover them.  But, I'm almost there!  I bet by this time next year (seeing as how my hair grew six inches this past year) I will most assuredly be there.  The goal with this long hair?  To never have to wear a shirt again.  

Oh Daryl Hanna.  You will be so proud!

thanks, best week ever, for the image

Hope you all are having a Monday worth blogging about.  

I did. 

xox

Snow Show.

This morning around 930 the flakes were so huge and the sky was so dark---it was snowing beautifully! 

Of course I got my camera out and enjoyed the amazing weather. It snowed for about thirty minutes and the magic I should have shown was an hour later the sun came out, and all the snow was gone.  

Arizona's Magical. 

I also want to share I rocked my first exams in Nursing Theory IV and Psych Nursing. God is hugely providing grades of grandiose proportions.  I am humbled and amazed.  Also, tonight I was supposed to work a shift but the RN I work with is out sick, and I decided to take tonight off to take care of self.  That means no intern shifts this week, which will be a lovely blessing.

Nanny work is going super well.  I had lots of awesome kiddos today and felt on point: lots of laughing, giggling, and fun fun fun conversation.  I am so lucky to have the job I do!!

I woke this morning late after making myself stay in bed--goal in mind to be awake and rested for tonight's shift. I was talking with my roommate about my schedule the next few days and laughed, "We'll see what happens. Things always seem to change!"  I find this lovely view of flexible living so vital and essential right now.  I'm able to live with a flexible outlook, and it's really helping me to be more present with the task at hand.

Tomorrow's mellow:  all I have scheduled now that I don't have to sleep is study time, which will be wonderful.  I have class at 5p and that's it!  Friday's mellow, too.  I have a lot of mellow coming up and I'm very much looking forward to focusing on journaling, meditating and exercising.  The past few weeks those things have taken a backseat to studying and interning.

I feel this little breather of time will be a nice aaahhhhhhhhhh to get refocused.

Have a lovely night, y'all.

By the way, what is up with Google Buzz?!?!?!
yikes! :)