Saturday, November 15, 2008

i just don't think i can handle one more thing, honestly.

These lyrics knocked me over, and somehow imply I'm pregnant. But, I'm not.
At least I have that going for me!!
I am vulnerable.
I am raw.
I am imperfect and getting that I need to love it.
I just don't get that God has this much faith in me, to be able to handle this death, these choices, this humanity, these expectations.

Thanks Modest Mouse--you always poetically rhyme what I didn't know I was thinking and I am grateful for pandora's choice of your music in my day.

3rd Planet--Modest Mouse:

Everything that keeps me together is falling apart
I've got this thing that I consider my only art
Of fucking people over.
My boss just quit the job
Says he's goin out to find blind
Spots and he'll do it.
The 3rd planet is sure that they're being watched by an
Eye in the sky that can't be stopped.
When you get to the promise land you're gonna shake that
Eyes hand.
Your heart felt good it was drippin pitch and made of wood.
And your hands and knees felt cold and wet on the grass to me.
Outside naked, shiverin looking blue, from the cold
Sunlight that's reflected off the moon.
Baby come, angels fly around you reminding you we used
To be three and not just two.
And that's how the world began.
And that's how the world will end.
A 3rd had just been made and we were swimming in the
Water, didn't know then was it a son was it a daughter.
When it occurred to me that the animals are swimming
Around in the water in the oceans in our bodies and
Another had been found another ocean on the planet
Given that our blood is just like the atlantic.
And how.
The universe is shaped exactly like the earth if you go
Straight long enough you'll end up where you were.
Your heart felt good it was drippin pitch and made of wood.
And your hands and knees felt cold and wet on the grass to me.
Outside naked, shiverin looking blue, from the cold
Sunlight that's reflected off the moon.
Baby come, angels fly around you reminding you we used
To be three and not just two.
And that's how the world began.
And that's how the world will end.


Saturday, November 01, 2008

Thirty Years

About the number Thirty.

The Thirty Years' War, fought in Germany in the early 1600's.

Wikipedia tells me about the number thirty, and I quote, "It is the sum of the first four squares, which makes it a square pyramidal number. Adding up some subsets of its divisors (e.g., 5, 10 and 15) gives 30, hence 30 is a semiperfect number.

The atomic number of zinc is 30
(Zn is a very important element, which is really crucial when you're growing a baby and you want it to have the proper sex parts. I learned that in nutrition class).

30 is the number of tracks on The Beatles' eponymous album, usually known as The White Album

I had my birthday yesterday. And with that birthday, I entered my thirtieth year on the planet.
My mom birthed me thirty years ago. That's a long time. That's my whole life, really.
I have a lot of love and appreciation for my mom today.
And pretty grateful my dad gave good sperm parts for me to be genetically who I am.

My birthday was pretty awesome.
Very relaxing and calm and full of friendships I honor and for which I am very grateful.
Life is busy. I get to be calm today. I'm very much looking forward to the year ahead.