MOZZARELLA.

This afternoon, I arrived in St. Louis, France.  Yes, readers, I am in France.  And, this isn't just a plane change at Charles De Gaulle.  No, this is me, Layla S. Gigax, sleeping in France. (It's a one-night-only affair.)

I traveled from Murren today.
I hugged and kissed goodbye the sweet family that has held my company for more than six weeks.
I got on the cable car and headed down to Lauterbrunnen.  From there, I got on the train to Interlaken-Ost.  At Interlaken, I got on the train to Bern.  Bern looks AMAZING from the train.  It is a city I hope to explore more!  In Bern, I got on yet another train to Basel.  I arrived at the Basel downtown train station and Basel looks FUN. Very very chic city---I would just be so thrilled to city-explore this fantastic Country!  One day....One day.....

So, from downtown I hopped right on the bus to take me to EuroAirport, the Airport in Basel that services Basel, Mulhouse & Freiburg, among other cities.  Basel is in the north of Switzerland, on the border with France and Germany.  From the EuroAirport, I was to take my shuttle to the Ibis Hotel Mulhouse St. Louis (That's France, people).

I arrived at the airport.  And, this is where I discovered more so that language and travel sometimes need to be in sync.  And, the beauty of such small country borders.  I was on the Swiss side (inside the airport, though at the time, I didn't know this) and I found the hotel kiosk where you ring the hotel you're after, they come pick you up, VOILA!  Well, the Ibis Hotel I'm reserved at wasn't at the kiosk.  Hmm.....

Next to the kiosk was a Hertz rent-a-car counter.
Excuse Me?
I asked the young dude probably facebooking while waiting for eager travelers to rent his fantastic cars:  Do you speak English?
Yes, he said.
Where do I find the Hotel Ibis?  
He continued:  You need to go back to the bus station and go back to Basel Downtown. The Ibis is behind the Basel Downtown Train Station.

Oh.  I said, and continued.
Well, So, I have a reservation at the Ibis in St. Louis.

Oh.  He said, and continued.
You then need to go upstairs and cross over into France, cross the border, up there on the French side there is a kiosk for the French hotels.

OH.
(I walked away but inside I was grinning and skipping...I get to walk across the border INTO FRANCE! Inside a building!!!!)

So, I did just that.  I took the escalator up (heavy bags=escalating) and walked into France.
When I was crossing over I thought, "OHMYGOD I'M IN FRANCE."  I tried to contain my excitement.  To not carry on like that crazy American, "OhmyGod, y'all, I'm IN FRANCE!!" (said with way more syllables than possibly necessary).

I found the kiosk and found my Hotel Ibis in Mulhouse St. Louis, and there was no phone with which to call!  WHAT?!?!?

Good grief!
LIGHT BULB!

I have my laptop--let me fire it up and use Skype to call.
Great idea, except the wifi at the EuroAirport doesn't work.

Okay.
Next idea?

There was a darlingly cute blonde woman sitting behind yet another car rental counter.  I walked to her and asked, 'Do you speak English?'  'A little,' she said with her envy-provoking French accent.

Ahhh...
I explained my plight:  I don't have a phone to call the hotel, and the internet isn't working.  Is it possible I may use your phone to call the Ibis?

Of course, she said.
Oh, oui oui oui! Merci Merci!!

She dialed the number, and I asked for a ride from the airport to the Hotel.  The sweet lady on the other end of the phone directed me where to go.  "Outside, by the Taxis"  (I wish accent could be typed.  This post would be ripe with accent).

I went outside and waited by the Taxis.
About ten minutes later, a very nice Frenchman came to take me to my hotel.  He put my heavy bags in his trunk and away we went.  The song that played from his car's radio was '(I Can't Get No) Satisfaction' by The Rolling Stones.  Oh, Mick.  To hear your ironic voice at this lovely time!  I smiled, and peered out at this French city life.  So near to Switzerland, and busy with streets and cars and buildings older than my native Arizona eyes know.

I made it to my hotel and the driver asked me, in French, 'Parlez-vous francais?'  'Non,' I said. 'Anglais.'  He said, 'Enjoy Paris.'

I laughed, and checked into my hotel.

My room is delightful.  I have a bathroom shaped like a pod and clean floors and a very comfortable bed.  I have an internet connection.  It's raining here and I ventured out to find some food.  Dinner didn't start until 1900 and I was HUNGRY.

I found a market and bought the YUMMIEST tofu ravioli, dark chocolate rice cakes and sweet sesame crackers.  All Vegan!  YAY! Vegan snacks!!  With the help of my darling Whitney I translated the dinner menu via gmail chat, and it was all meat choices for me, so I thought some snacks would be nice to have--I could go into dinner and just have a salad, that would be perfect.

Parfait!

Walking around the French-speaking streets of St. Louis was so fun.  It was raining, and the streets are cobblestone.  I sploshing in puddles and giggling at the fact I'm adventuring in France!!! Even though I know so little French it's embarrassing and I'm so in love with all things French I should know more French!

I came home to my cute little room, chowed on my yummy food, and enjoyed some solo time.  At ten of seven, I went down to the hotel restaurant and asked the cute little French only speaking server if she had any vegetarian, vegetable only salads?  She said, OUI! The Italian Salad would be parfait!'

SUPER!
I ordered a glass of almost too sweet Pinot Gris and enjoyed Desert Solitaire while I waited for my Italian Salad.

And it came.

Six slices of tomato layered with six slices of mozzarella cheese dressed in a pesto dressing and three, yes, I counted, THREE lettuce leaves as decoration in the center.

And, you guessed it,
I ate the entire thing.

I thought once, "Yikes, I hope this doesn't upset my tummy for tomorrow."  And then I took another bite.
It was delicious.

I finished my dinner with an exceptionally dainty and delicious espresso.
My only regret is I didn't take my camera to dinner to exhibit proof of such amazing Frenchness.

If they have croissants at breakfast tomorrow, I don't think I'll be able to resist.

So, that's my Vegan Tale in France.  I love it here, and I'm only 5km from the border of Suisse.  Not Paris, but France nonetheless.

I leave tomorrow from EuroAirport at 1225 for London.  London greets me with the long flight, London to Chicago.  Then, Chicago to San Diego.  I land tomorrow night at 2205 in San Diego.  I will be tired, stinky and ready for a huge squeeze from one Nate B.

We begin our adventure on August 5.  More to come on that!

Me! With a world-traveler's new found way to curl her hair, and the yummiest dark chocolate rice crackers ever.  

Oh! I want to leave you with the coolest, most lovely and awesome video.  This song is the first in my iTunes playlist, titled, 'the Swiss life 2010.'  The lyrics follow the video. This song rules!



Modern Drift by Efterklant

I can keep my head inside

when the modern drift is all I have.

You can pull my head aside

but the modern drift is all I have.

When the moment dies 

and I come to you

with a broken lie 

that I made for you.

If I wait to see you

with the living ghosts

will they catch your sight

or the back of you?

I can keep my head inside

when the modern drift is all I have.

You can pull my head aside

but the modern drift is all I have.

We appear so strong

but we're all afraid.

They will play your hands

like a puppeteer.

And the dreams aren't true

but we know it—we know that tune

that the angel sings to the hollow death:

"I can keep my head inside

when the modern drift is all I have.

"You can pull my head aside

but the modern drift is all I have.

"It's all I have". 

Good night, France.  

It's been an unbelievable pleasure. 

breathing. in. and. out.

Words for today:

it's not about what another person does, or why he does it.  it's about learning about myself and knocking down my walls.  along the way, i hope to treat others with love, kindness, and tolerance.  

I'm going through a little growth spurt.  It's a little achy but other than the aches, I feel confident all will work out as needs to.  I am well loved, and well provided for.

I cleaned to my iPod today, to a Genius Playlist from Fanfarlo and it was so so so good.  While cleaning, Ambling Alp by Yeasayer came on and the lyrics proved very applicable to my growth today.

And when those thunder clouds are crying in the skies, in the skies
And when those fireflies keep shining in your eyes, in your eyes
Keep your mind for the time, with your ass on the line
Keep your feet, feet sliding to the side, to the side

Now, the world can be an unfair place at times
But your lows will have their complement of highs
And if anyone should cheat you, take advantage of, or beat you
Raise your head and wear your wounds with pride

I am safe. 

I am worthy. 

I am without fear. 

(In this moment, anyway).

Good night, world.

Fear & Faith.

Hello from Houston!

I've begun my adventure yesterday with a (very, very) early alarm wake-up, last minute detail packing, a heartfelt, sweet goodbye to Noriko, a smooch to my darling Sonja, and a drive to Phoenix Sky Harbor Airport.  Nate was in town for a few days to help see me off and he drove me down to the airport on his way home to San Diego.  I'm so grateful for his last minute help---I learned a few years ago that with anxiety it helped a great deal to have someone put his hands on my back.  Just calmly place his hands on my back.  I've never told Nate this, and in the middle of packing, he came up to me, and placed his left hand over my heart and his right hand over my back and just stood there, holding me.  The anxiety I was feeling immediately calmed, and I finished my packing and was in bed by the time I hoped.  I'm grateful for his presence in my life.

My flight to Houston was quick!  I even got some NCLEX studying in!!  (I'm super proud of myself for this, as I haven't cracked a study text for six weeks. YIKES!)  I landed at 1130a Texas time and was picked up by JJ & Sidney.  I immediately felt the thick, humid Houston air. (I come from a dry heat, y'all.)

Houston is a neat city!  JJ's from West University City, not far from Montrose (where we had sushi tonight).  We drove by the Rothko Chapel and I look forward to coming back and seeing the inside of this awesome place--we missed the hours by twenty minutes!  I've noticed that the sky isn't as big as my Prescott sky.  I feel scrunched and smooshed without the hills and views.  The trees limit what I can see and it's a weird feeling.  I feel quite small in this Houston city.

Today's Summer Solstice.  The longest day of the year!!  I love this day.  I love what it symbolizes--we've made it half way through winter, the cold and the dark nights.  Now, we're on the down swing and days will get shorter, but it's officially Summer now.  It's hot.  And, oh this Arizona girl loves the hot!  Even the thick humidity of the Houston heat isn't so bad. (I mean, it's awfully hot, but it's Summer!  It's suppose to be!)  I'm excited for the longer nights of Switzerland.  Troy reminded me it doesn't get dark until 2200!! WOW!

We leave tomorrow at 1620.  We leave from George Bush Intercontinental Airport and head to Heathrow in London--we'll land at 0730 on Wednesday June 23, just in time for some delicious coffee. Oh, coffee, how I love you so.  From London, we fly to Zurich and will land in Switzerland at 1230p Wednesday.  From Zurich, we rent a VAN. (Three adults and two kids plus luggage for the Summer requires a VAN. :)  The Van will take us to Stechelberg, where we'll survey how everyone's doing and either head up to the village, Murren, and get our Summer digs ready, or we'll stay at the Alpenhof for the night.  We have a busy day of travel ahead, and truth be told, I'm tired.

I'm glad we're flying at night.  The kiddos will be ready for sleep and so will I--I hope sleep will be comfortable.  The flight itself will be a long one--a little over nine hours.  Ha.  I can do that in my sleep! (Let's hope.)

I started this awesome new book  Sought Through Prayer and Meditation.  It's a Hazelden book with a weekly focus on the Eleventh Step (We sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God, as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of his will for us and the power to carry that out.)  The book is a weekly focus with stories and information, followed by a prayer and a meditation.

So far, it's awesome!  I wanted to share the prayer and meditation with you for this week.

Prayer

Dear God, as I begin this journey each day to seek a closer conscious contact with you, my Higher Power, let me not rely on any changes that have already taken place in me, any reconstruction that you have done in my life until now. For by choosing my will over yours, all of that can be gone in a single breath. Therefore, please give me the grace to rely only on you, your will for me, your love and caring. May I continue seeking knowledge of your will and the power to carry that out, one day at a time.

Meditation

The power of God grows within me as I continue to seek God’s will.

I love having a spiritual focus while I'm away.  Last year, my spiritual life in Switzerland grew immensely.  I came home focused and at peace.  I also knew with a lot of certainty and assurance what I was coming home to.  This year, it's entirely different.  A lot of my fear is due to what life will be like in August when I get home.  I have no idea!!  The idea of having an assignment to improve my conscious contact with my Higher Power and to truly seek my Higher Power's will for my life is exciting.  It helps alleviate the fear I'm having and helps me be in the moment.

There is one thing certain about this adventure ahead:  I will only be of service, of utmost and beneficial service, when I'm present and in the moment.  It's in the moment that my life is meant to be lived.  I have fear about what the future holds but really?? I'M NOT IN THE FUTURE.  I'm here.  Now.  In this moment.

Today's Daily Reflections summed up my feelings so well.

The achievement of freedom from fear is a lifetime undertaking, one that can never be wholly completed. When under heavy attack, acute illness, or in other condition of insecurity, we shall all react to this emotion – well or badly, as the case may be. Only the self-deceived will claim perfect freedom from fear. AS BILL SEES IT, p. 263

Fear has caused suffering when I could have had more faith. There are times when fear suddenly tears me apart, just when I’m experiencing feelings of joy, happiness and a lightness of heart. Faith–and a feeling of self-worth toward a Higher Power -helps me endure tragedy and ecstasy. When I choose to give all of my fears over to my Higher Power, I will be free.

I love what this reading reminds me about having Faith.  Faith is defined as "a feeling of self-worth toward a Higher Power."  Merriam-Webster defines Faith as "complete trust."  I love the idea that Faith in my Higher Power is feeling WORTH and COMPLETE TRUST in my Higher Power.  In my humanity, all I can do is try to completely trust my Higher Power.  I believe it's possible--to the best of my ability.

And as Feist reminds me in Mushaboom:

 And we'll collect the moments one by one/ 

I guess that's how the future's done 

I'm headed to bed now on this warm Summer Solstice night.  Happy Summer, everyone.  When I write next I'll be in the Alpine air of Switzerland with yet another strengthened, and hopefully fresh, perspective.

Blessings!

Oh, Sufjan.

These lyrics from Jacksonville by Sufjan Stevens are written in red across my mirror:

I'm not afraid to get it right
I turn around and give it one more try


I am overwhelmed but in a super peaceful way, which again, knocks me off my feet and makes me wonder if I'm really even overwhelmed.

I declined attendance to a Pediatric Symposium I had on my schedule tomorrow and I feel a *little* frustrated by that---at the same time, I think it's more important I take that time to study.  (My first theory exam is Thursday--it covers Fluid & Electrolyte Imbalances, Acid Base Imbalances, Care of the Critically Injured Client suffering from Burns & Shock.)  This semester is VERY heavy on us teaching ourselves the material.  Which leaves little time to study:  the time I would be studying is the time I'm taking to listen to lectures and take notes.  I feel behind.

I was listening to some calm Sufjan a few days ago when his lyrics came right out of the speaker and spoke to me so wonderfully.

I am a little afraid to not get it right, but the more I talk about it and the more I praypraypray for the amazing guidance to show up and participate in this busy life, the more I'm really turning it around and giving it one more try.

My week is busy.  Tuesdays are my busiest day, and I'm about to head out the door for playgroup.  Then six hours of class ahead.  I'm hoping to get some cardio in (I got my iPod yesterday---it's lovely, delicate, purple and amazing. I'm very excited!)  If I don't make it to the gym, after my psych class tonight I'm going to walk around our lovely downtown square for some fresh air and perspective.  Tomorrow since I've declined attendance to the symposium I'm off all day, which is a blessing: STUDY TIME!!  And, I'm working 7p to 7a tomorrow night, as well, so hopefully I'll get some good rest in, too.  Thursday is exam day after hopefully sleeping well and doing a final review.  Then I work again 11p to 7a.  PHEW. Exhausting, right?  I can do it. I can do it.  I am housesitting again this weekend, a blessing financially--very easy work!, but disorienting a little  when I'm not in my own space.  I'm going to focus on the blessing of it.  And, this weekend I'm working a lot with the little kiddos.

With all the busy, I feel peaceful.  I'm grateful I realized this past weekend that I neeeeeed activity in my life, and yesterday I was active twice, which felt amazing.  (I also treated myself to a really terrific massage.)  I'm hoping to just breathe today, be in the moment and focus on what's in front of me.  And, I can only do that with God's help.

I hope wherever you are you're off to have a great day, too....

The Ballad of Love and Hate

Song lyrics
by The Avett Brothers
album: Emotionalism
my new favorite on repeat. 


Love writes a letter and sends it to hate.
My vacations ending. I'm coming home late.
The weather was fine and the ocean was great
and I can't wait to see you again.

Hate reads the letter and throws it away.
"No one here cares if you go or you stay.
I barely even noticed that you were away.
I'll see you or I won't, whatever."

Love sings a song as she sails through the sky.
The water looks bluer through her pretty eyes.
And everyone knows it whenever she flies,
and also when she comes down.

Hate keeps his head up and walks through the street.
Every stranger and drifter he greets.
And shakes hands with every loner he meets
with a serious look on his face.

Love arrives safely with suitcase in tow.
Carrying with her the good things we know.
A reason to live and a reason to grow.
To trust. To hope. To care.

Hate sits alone on the hood of his car.
Without much regard to the moon or the stars.
Lazily killing the last of a jar
of the strongest stuff you can drink.

Love takes a taxi, a young man drives.
As soon as he sees her, hope fills his eyes.
But tears follow after, at the end of the ride,
cause he might never see her again.

Hate gets home lucky to still be alive.
He screams o'er the sidewalk and into the drive.
The clock in the kitchen says 2:55,
And the clock in the kitchen is slow.

Love has been waiting, patient and kind.
Just wanting a phone call or some kind of sign,
That the one that she cares for, who's out of his mind,
Will make it back safe to her arms.

Hate stumbles forward and leans in the door.
Weary head hung, eyes to the floor.
He says "Love, I'm sorry", and she says, "What for?
I'm yours and that's it, Whatever."

"I should not have been gone for so long."

"I'm yours and that's it, forever. 
You're mine and that's it, forever."

Battery by Aesop Rock

This song rocked my cardio today.
I'm again reminded how great Ian Matthias Bavitz is and how awesome music is for me to pushpushpush through intense cardio training.

Here goes:

(and pardon the swearing the first line...)

Yo, change the fucking channel.
I burn a coma candle.
When the flame fades, consider my flat line a soldier sample.
We them cats talking noise behind that New York trash heap where the stench of commuter briefcase replaces a bad sleep.
And it's the work of zig-zaggers versus piggy badge flashers training generation fallout.
Waterfall, bricklayer, pincushion crawl out.
There's smoke in my iris, but I painted a sunny day on the insides of my eyelids so I'm ready now.
(What you ready for?)
I'm ready for life in this city and my wings have grown almost enough to lift me.
I'm a dinosaur with Jones Beach in my hourglass passing the time with serial killer coloring books and bags of marbles.
Don't tell me you ain't the droid that held the match to the charcoals.
Don't tell me Lucifer and God don't carpool.
(This is our school)
I'm not trying to graduate to life with a personalized barstool,
head in a jar on the desk, feet dangling in a shark pool.
(Man please) Man please
My name stands for my being and my being stands for the woman who stood and braved the storm to raise the seedling.
(Brother sun, sister moon, mother beautiful)
Yeah, middle sibling suitable but far from son of excellence.
Beckoned a long time ago I was, to where the wishers wish but missers miss, I slept through my appointment.
Saw the liquid dreams of a thousand babies solidify and picked a rose.
It wilted the second I introduced myself as nervous.
Well, it appears the scars of learning have spoken.
Some are burning, some are frozen.
Some deserve tall tales, some wrote 'em.
Some are just a brutal repercussion of devotion.
Mine are all of the above cuz everything leads to erosion.
Now where I live there's a homeless man.
He sits upon a crate
Yeah, He makes a rusty trumpet sound like the music that angels make.
Now if you ever come and visit me, I suggest you watch the show
Tell him Aesop Rock sent ya just to hear his horn blow like this

And I ain't getting any younger.
My knuckles wear their bruises well.
I've yet to lose that hunger, but only time can tell.
Prodigal sun with a prodigal wish to sew that prodigal stitch and crucify bigot voodoo doll on two Popsicle sticks.
See, your name is ambiguity.
My name is something hands can't hold but hearts part ocean scapes just to watch the starlet unfold
It's like sketching a circle in the dirt with a pointed stick knowing the wind'll kill it some day, still it calms my burning wits for now.
And if I plow the fields, that don't guarantee plentiful harvest but starving artists die, so I set my alarm for five o'clock
Idols block survival crops, the cycle stops for nothing
The Bible squawks revival as winos flock by the hundreds to the opening.
Scarlet carpets greeting the duel, leading the stubborn mule to cruel rugburn but y'all numb from gut fuel.
I administer eclipse.
Ain't know motor like a martyr made motor cuz a martyr made motor don't quit.
I am an epiphany.
I am webbed foot mammal channel surfing my way to the top.
Tugboat in a bottle with no holes poked in the nozzle
I fed 'em bedlam diluted in limelight till that rookie boogie graduated hostile.
Now the vehicle is grandeur and it veered over the median the second my halo ran outta helium.
Demoted to thorn crown.
Damn, talk about numskull.
I was born bound to a stencil called symmetry but my energy's a rental.
So I take this now to say, thank you senorita  for holding a flame to a lost wick.
Thank you James Anthony for the band-aids on my ego, y'all are family for life, I'll take that bullet to preserve you.
I wanna be something spectacular on the day the sun runs outta batteries.
Attach my fashion to the casualties of anarchy.
Save my nickels up to buy that homeless man a brand new horn, then sit up on his crate as a witness to beauty born like this...
(I ain't gettin any younger)