Saturday, March 13, 2010

looking forward.

in this tired moment i'm looking forward to some things:

  1. at least until i find a job in my field, i will really enjoy not being this tired. nursing is tiring.  it's demanding on my body and on my heart.  after apr 1, i will enjoy the six weeks of not working in the hospital so i can sleep during the night and feel well-rested. 
  2. not always answering or wanting to answer 'tired' to the question 'how are you?' 
  3. when it's a gorgeous saturday outside, i will be so excited when i don't need to sleep through the sun, warmth and beauty that is Prescott in the spring.  (right now, i am so tired, i need to sleep more; it's amazing outside.  i have pangs of guilt sleep is more important than my being outside in Arizona sun.)
  4. not having to do myriad nurse's notes, flow sheets, med recon sheets, assessment data sheets, labor flow sheets, baby papers, ohmygosh we double and triple chart on that freaking floor; it's so exhausting, frustrating and i do not like it!  i was near tears last night realizing i'm writing in two places the same information.  when this internship is over, i will be very thrilled for the six weeks i have between internship and graduation not having to chart on a patient's status.  
  5. i am excited to be a nurse.  (huh? all this negative talk!)  i really am excited.  last night was so busy, yet i was efficient, capable and competent.  i'm a new nurse.  i'm not going to get it all in 75 hours of precepting.  it's going to take work. and this experience is prepping me for the work involved in a new grad program, and orientation on a new floor.  this is all good preparation for my career, for my life ahead. 
i have so much to look forward to.  even if i'm so tired when i look forward my eyes blur.  
happy napping, 


Charlsie said...

You are gonna be a fabulous nurse Layla! You have got the most compassionate and caring spirit! Yes, nursing is tiring, but completely manageable once you have finished school. Working while in nursing school is MOST DIFFICULT! Hang in there girl... you are so close! :) Proud of you!

She answers to Layla said...

i neeeeeeeed to hear this today. ohmygoodness, thank you. i am near tears with fatigue, filling my body with a most nourishing meal, and getting prepped for yet another shift.
thank you for reminding me what i'm doing is difficult. it eases the desire for being perfect, massively.

i feel honored to be in your company as of may 15...we are in a most awesome profession.