Monday, July 05, 2010
I had about 200 photos on my camera from my first few days out and about and I don't know what happened to them--they're gone. So, I've been uploading to my computer and to picasa every few days so that doesn't happen again. I know the memories aren't gone, but I sure do love having pictures of each day we're out and about so there is a sense of loss. The scenery will still be here and I'm okay about the loss, however it happened.
I cleaned for Denise at Chalet Fontana Friday past and it was fun! About an hour of work, and that was that. She's very sweet and super flexible.
I've been able to study some while I'm here, too. I bought The Princeton Review's NCLEX-Review Book, thanks to my dear friend Alison's Christmas gift of the Babycakes Cookbook which I already had. This review book is awesome. It's like a workbook for nursing. Fill in the blank, matching, labeling, true/false, about fifteen to twenty NCLEX-style questions for each chapter. It's FUN. It's fun because I'm doing well, and recalling a lot. I feel confident when I get back to the States all will align as it needs to and I'll be able to crank out a successful NCLEX appearance. I'm hopeful.
I miss my friends in Prescott and that amazing man in San Diego, and I think often how I'd like to share this adventure with them. I see the mountain peaks and after an incredibly amazing hike, I cried tears of joy at my accomplishment, ability and the beauty of the world God sees fit for me to play.
I don't know what life is going to be like when I get back to Prescott. I think about it sometimes, and feel certain I'm going to pack my home up, move to San Diego, and begin a life with Nate. I think about it other times, and feel panicky, scared, and totally anxious I'm going to be broke, homeless and without anything. The vacillation of these thoughts is dizzying.
(Or, at least that's how it looks on reflection. I imagine I've been stubborn and resistant to most big changes in my life--why this would be any different, I'm not sure. I pray for the Grace to show up as God needs me to show up--to honor God, be of service to other's and seek God's will. In that way, I know I can't do wrong.)
When I come home in August, I don't know what life will look like, and that scares me.
It's not any different than my life up to this point. I have to remind myself: enjoy what is, and get back to breathing and taking in this beautiful life.
I am blessed.
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