workin' on my fitness....

sooooooo....
i started a new work out program....
and initially, i was scared to death! FRIGHTENED TO PIECES!!!
i was terrified i was going to screw it up somehow, fail my work out partner, fail  my own highly set goals, show up wrong...all these fears swirling swirling swirling.

and on sunday i got to look at all my stuff around fitness and working out.......

and similar to yesterday's post what has come up for me is i'm just plum terrified of the outcome of being an every day fitness kind of girl.  not since high school have i been fit and into exercise.  it's been a goal of mine since i've gained a hefty amount of weight and it's a goal now as i'm, through god's grace, losing weight by the pound, effortlessly.  and now, i'm thirty.  i feel there are no more excuses.  i want a healthy heart and a healthy body for this life god's given me to live.  on nov 2, i joined the YMCA. AGAIN. i think i've been a Y member in this lovely town four times now, and it's a newly remodeled and fancier Y. it's gorgeous...there are a gajillion new cardio machines and it's cleaner, nicer, roomier...i'm enjoying it a lot! also, there are LOADS of classes, which i love....anyway...excited to be a gym member. but......since  joining, i couldn't get my butt there! i was having difficulty getting to the gym.....and mind you, it's like a mile away! isn't that hardest part of working out? getting there????

so, i reached out for help and made some work out buddy plans, which was super helpful. and yet, still terrified!! this new work out buddy suggested this great work out plan called Body For Life. there's a book about it and a food plan and all this other stuff, but essentially, it's the fitness aspect i'm after and it's a 12-week program focusing on interval training with weights and cardio.  and, really, it's not that much time in the gym.  the lifting component is only about 45 minutes and the cardio is only 20! how awesome is that!?!?

so we set a start date of nov 16th. and i panicked.  couldn't do it......let my new buddy know that i needed two more weeks to get situated with this new life change.  so we modified the start date to nov 30th.

well, whatdya know??? nov 29th came around and i was in full on panic mode! AGAIN! this time, though, i reached out.  i called my  new buddy and we talked about my fears.  i am so grateful i was able to tap into what i was afraid of!  what came out this fear was how attached i am to being perfect, how committed i am to the outcome of any situation and how really, what matters, and what i need to remind myself is being present in the moment of today. 

so....i'm on day four of this work out program. and you know, i don't do it perfectly. so far, though, it's going really well, and i'm super grateful for the lessons my higher power is providing me...

i read this today in Hope For Today, one of my daily readers:
"if i supply the willingness, my higher power will supply the way."

such a great reminder for me to pray for willingness, strength and grace in this new adventure...and also such gratitude that i'm healthy and ablebodied to work on my fitness.