some things i know in my brain:
gratitude and prayer combat self-pity.
some things i do not yet feel in my body:
gratitude and prayer combat self-pity.
i will have more time to write about the past 12 days events but for now, i will just say i want to curl up in a ball and say a big giant F! to the world. will i do that? nah. i have a massage in 40 minutes. and then a meeting, and then a few hours play time with some Love girls. and then, some baking to do. and really? i'm not THAT tired. and Sex and the City is sorta lame now that i have some recovery under my belt. was Carrie really that annoying this whole time???
basically, i feeeeeeeel all this stuff. totally sad. rejected. not good enough. and when i type all that, i know those things aren't true. i know i can allow myself to be happy today. i know i can respect cute new (now, not any more) fella's choice and know it's not about me; i'm totally not rejectable. and i am good. i am good, period. it's not about 'enough.' it's just about now, and being good, period. which i am.
i am a walking contraction.
i feel shortened in the middle.
i take comfort in knowing 'feelings aren't facts' but am feeling just the same and pray for the grace to walk through these friggin feelings with god by my side.
No comments:
Post a Comment