Wednesday, June 09, 2010

fearfearfear.

I have a lot to do and only eleven days to do it.
Thankfully, my schedule is really open and free to get things done.
On the flip side, an open schedule means I'm not earning money and that makes me fearful.

This is Today's God Calling
Courage. Courage. Courage.
Fear nothing. Rejoice even in the darkest place. 
So, I'm reminded today to have Courage.
To Fear Nothing.
That even in my darkest place I will Rejoice.

In this moment, that calms me a bit.  Not a lot, but enough to get dressed for the day and be present for the girls that are scheduled with me today.  I am so blessed to do something I love so intensely and something I'm good at.

I have loads of fear that leaving for two months will cause me to disappear.  I'll just disappear, people!  I'm terrified I'll come back not knowing anything, I'll miss the Arizona Monsoons which I love so dearly, and I'll be broke and homeless.

On that note, I dreamed last night I traveled to Dominican Republic and got lost, but found my way.  I was with a friend I'm not friends with anymore and we were having a great time.  I wasn't afraid of being in a strange place, not knowing the language or what highway leads where.  I was just having a joyful time.

My dreams are on track!  I can be uncertain and in a new, unfamiliar place.  I can tempt my heart with fear, but really??  I know how to act courageously.  And, in the acting, the courage comes.



No comments: